“Love is a temporary madness. It
erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to
make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so
entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because
this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is
not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being
"in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself
is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an
art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew
towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from
our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”
― Louis de Bernières, Corelli's Mandolin
Below you will find an excerpt from Carol's
Interview. She and her husband John just celebrated 50 years of marriage.
They have so much to look back on and cherish, but they are looking forward to
much more to come.
~ Claire
John and
I had known of each other since I was six or seven years old because my mother
took me to church where John and his family attended. His parents used to come
by and pick my mother and me and some of my other siblings up to take us to
church. John was our song leader, so I saw him there every week. I knew John
was a really nice person.
The year
I turned 14, John gave me my first birthday present from him. It was a sweater,
a gold mohair sweater that itched me to death. But I hung onto it for a long
time.
John and
I went to the movies together a lot. We came to Dallas and saw Ben Hur; that
was my first time to ever go out of our little community on a date. I thought
it was amazing and fun. We still love watching movies together.
We got
engaged on December 22. John came over to my house and had already talked to my
dad. He had wrapped my ring and put it under the tree. He gave it to me and I
opened it up. Then, he got it and put it on my finger and asked me to marry
him.
We found
out that we were expecting our first child in 1968. We had been married for
almost six years by then and I had been wanting a baby ever since the first
year we had been married. Every month I would think, “Oh, I hope I’m pregnant!”
The day
that our first child was born was a very happy day for us. I loved life with a
baby. Our first year with Amy was a nice, wonderful year for us.
I wanted
another baby because I didn’t want Amy to grow up without a sibling. We found
out we were expecting another child in August, right around our ninth
anniversary.
We had
another daughter, and we named her Lori. We loved both of our girls dearly. My
mother loved being a grandmother, too. She loved little girls, particularly,
because she liked to sew for them. She made me beautiful clothes, and she made
Amy and Lori beautiful clothes.
John is a real good dad. He loves Amy and Lori. He is a hands-on dad, especially when
the girls were little. He changed diapers and got up in the middle of the night
with them to feed them. I would lay the girls’ clothes out on Sunday and he
would get them dressed.
I think
both of the girls have evolved into beautiful young women from the inside out.
They have some strong convictions that I hope we instilled in them as children.
They are very caring and very generous. We are a very close family.
I believe
that God brought us through the trials that we’ve had along the way. Every
family has trials, and I believe our strong faith has helped us cope with that
and get through those difficulties. They say that marriage is 50/50, but I
think it’s more 100/100. Each person has to give 100%. You’ve got to forgive,
and you’ve got to learn to say, “Please forgive me.” I think that’s something
that we should instill in our children at a very early age, to say, “Please
forgive me.” Those three words are very important.
