Brenda is fun. And funny, and sweet, and loving. It truly was a joy for me to sit down with her and learn so much from her. She and David have known each other for just about their whole lives. They recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with all of their family and friends. And it really, truly, was a celebration.
~ Claire
I went out with David for two or three months when I was in the 10th grade, so I was very young. I just liked him so much. I liked David as a person. But I think he tried to avoid me some in school. I was more outgoing than he was, so I’m sure I made him very uncomfortable.
Then, when we were out of school,
David called me one summer. I hadn’t heard from him in years, probably three
years. He called and asked me if I would go to the lake with him. He was real
big into the lake; he loved water and stuff like that. Well, I’m not big on
that stuff; I’m a little bit afraid of it. But I wanted to go with him, so I
said yes. Well, I had no idea we were going to get out on a sailboat! And, you
know, sailboats are scary as the Dickens!! We would sit on the side of the boat
because it was so little. We had to run back and forth so the boat
wouldn’t tip over. I was so sick! I was worried crazy that I would fall over and he didn’t even have me a lifejacket! He would pitch me a cushion and
said, “Here. Use this if you need it.” I couldn’t have held onto that if I
wanted to! When I went home to the dorm that night, I fell out of my bed
because I was having nightmares so bad. That’s how scary that was for me. I’ll
never forget that. I never want to ride in another sailboat ever! I wouldn’t do
it again for a million dollars.
David and I dated, and then he
would wait several weeks and then he would call me again. He was never
consistent. I was having a really good time in college. I liked other boys but
I still liked David. He would call me, but not all the time.
I was living with
my sister and brother-in-law and they were real fond of David – my whole family
was. They had known David because we had gone together a lot. David called one night and my
sister said to him, “Why don’t you come over here and eat supper with us?” He
said okay. Well, I had a date that night with another boy. We sat down and ate,
and then I had to tell him that I had another date and I was leaving. He and my
brother-in-law played chess and were sitting at the dining room table when this
other boy named David B. came and knocked on the door to get me. This other boy
saw David sitting there and they knew each other from college. David B. asked
me, “Who is that fella? Haven’t I seen him before?” I said, “Well, he’s just a
friend of the family.” Because he was.
The very next morning, David asked
me if I would go to church with him and I said yes. He came to pick me up
and we were driving down the street. David B. pulled up right beside us! And I
was sitting right up next to David in the front because of where the gearshift
was. David B. saw us and I had just told him that David was just a friend of
the family. I thought, “Well, that blows that. I’m getting myself in a big mess
with all these boys.”
David popped up every once in a
while in my life, but not regularly. So I told him one night, “I want to tell
you something. We’ve been dating a long time. I want you to either make up your
mind or just leave. I don’t want this going on back and forth because I’m
having a lot of fun down here and I’m messing myself up.” He understood that.
He had never told me before that he loved me. He didn’t have a line – he never
was the kind that would do that.
But about two weeks later, he told
me that he loved me and he asked me that very same day to marry him. I really
was so glad. I had a date with another boy and I had to call him to tell him I
couldn’t go because I had gotten engaged.
People have asked me what really
drew me to David, and I don’t really know. I just knew him and I didn’t think
anything about it. He was always so mannerly. I knew he was a real hard worker
and a really good Christian fella. I just admired him. That sounds funny for
somebody our age back then, but I could see those traits in him. I dated other
boys and had a lot of dates but they just didn’t do for me.
We got engaged in December, right
before Christmas. And we were married on June 1. We just celebrated our 50th
wedding anniversary.
The births of our children were
very happy times for us. All of our children are good moral people. I know my
mother would be proud of them because that was her big thing to stress. I’ve
gotten that from her. Other happy times were seeing them married, seeing them
with a good companion. We are very lucky about their companions. They have
great husbands and a wife. I just don’t know how we could have been so lucky
that we have that. And we have eight healthy grandchildren.
Without a doubt, the saddest time in
my life was when David was diagnosed with cancer. That’s been real hard for us.
He had surgery two months after he was diagnosed and we
thought everything was fine. But six months later, the cancer came back. It has
hung over our head for over eleven years now. It’s without a doubt the hardest
thing we’ve ever had to face. It’s hard for me because I worry about what’s
going to happen to him or about being by myself. David is such a good companion
for me; he’s a wonderful husband.
Thankfully, he feels good and
we’re blessed with that. Living with David’s cancer for all this time really
has been draining but it has, in some respects, brought us closer together. We
know that every day with each other is just really a gift. We have decided with
this, that we are just going to live every day and try to live as good as we
can. We’re going to enjoy the days we have because nobody really knows what
they have ahead of them. Without health, you don’t have much and that’s the
saddest thing. We have lots of material things but we don’t have good health
for David. I would trade it all in a day for good health for him. To me, health
is just so important and money can’t buy it. We’re older, but you don’t expect
that; you’re never ready for it. I would never want to lose him.
I think in order to have a successful
marriage you need to start out loving that person. But your love does grow over
time. My mother told me that. She said, “You think you love him now…you can’t
imagine how much you’re going to love him later.”
I also think that in order for
your marriage to be successful you have to work through your problems and be
open with each other. We always knew that we had to make this marriage work. We
entered into it knowing it was going to be a lifetime-thing.
